


Obscure Canadian Sports Week (and other celebrations)

by Ekaterinn



Category: Sports Night
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 20:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekaterinn/pseuds/Ekaterinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lacrosse, orange icing, fertility rites, and opening ceremonies: the Sports Night crew celebrates in their own peculiar way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obscure Canadian Sports Week (and other celebrations)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missi/gifts).



##### Obscure Canadian Sports Week

##### 

“I feel that Canadian sports have been horribly neglected,” Dan was earnestly saying. “I feel that, to be fair, we need to highlight Canadian sports in this show.”

“The Stanley cup is over, my friend.” Casey pointed out.

Casey’s paper was filled with doodles of Pac-men on skates, or maybe pies. Dan couldn’t tell. He shook his head. “That’s too mainstream,” he said. “What about the more obscure Canadian sports? Where’s the love for them? It’s a tragedy, I tell you.”

“Our viewers do not care about obscure Canadian sports, Dan.” Dana said, tapping her pen impatiently.

“They should!” Dan exclaimed. “For example, did you know that lacrosse is the official pastime of Canada?”

“It’s not hockey?” Casey asked.

“It’s not hockey.” Dan confirmed.

“Actually,” Jeremy broke in, “lacrosse was not played in Canada for thirty years until the Games to celebrate Confederation were held in 1969.”

“Ah, the Summer of Love,” Casey murmured. Dan gallantly ignored him, making a show of listening to Jeremy intently.

“The goalie on the New Brunswick team, Billy Arsenault,” Jeremy continued, “achieved momentary fame when he was hit in a sensitive area with the ball.”

“A sensitive area?” Natalie asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Um. A very sensitive area,” Jeremy replied, turning red.

“He means the nuts,” Dan translated.

“Ouch.” Casey nodded gravely. “A true sacrifice.”

Dana’s pen stopped tapping. “People,” she said, “this is Sports Night, not obscure Canadian sports week. Dan, you _are_ doing that segment on the preparations for the World Cup. Casey, you have permission to hit him if he talks about hockey, lacrosse, or the goddamned musical ride.” She stood up, and started to walk out of the room. “I’ll see you at the next rundown.”

“The musical ride?” Casey asked.

“Did you know,” Dan said, eyes going wide, “that the Mounties don’t even _sing_?”

##### For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow

##### 

There were balloons. There was ice cream. There was a terrifying number of Sports Night staffers wearing party hats. There was even a cake, at least four layers high, with white frosting. Its inscription read, in neon orange icing, _Happy Birthday, Jeremy!_

Jeremy took a couple of steps back. “It’s not my birthday,” he said. Or was it? Had he forgotten his birthday? Maybe his memory had finally collapsed under the strain of his irrepressible capacity for trivia and he was going to start forgetting things. Next thing he’ll know, he’ll be wandering the streets of New York, desperately looking for his apartment building.

“Of course not, silly,” Natalie broke into his thoughts, smiling at him like she knew exactly what he was thinking. “But you’ve been with the show for one year, and it’s a tradition.”

“See, Dan,” Casey said, “A tradition.”

“Happy Anniversary would be more precise,” Dan replied, “I’m sure Jeremy would agree with me, wouldn’t he?” Dan looked at him.

“If Natalie says it’s a tradition, it’s a tradition,” Jeremy said, back on firmer ground. Natalie beamed at him.

Isaac stepped forward. “Congratulations, son,” he said, extending his hand.

Jeremy took a deep breath, and shook his hand. “Thank you, sir.”

“All right,” Dana said. “We have now come to the singing portion of the evening.” There was a good-natured groan throughout the room. “You know the rules. No singing, no cake.”

“Singing?” Jeremy mouthed to Natalie. She just mysteriously placed a finger on her lips.

“By Dan’s request,” Dana continued, “we are not singing the first verse of Happy Birthday this time. However, we also not performing “Singin’ in the Rain”, complete with, and I quote, ‘tap shoes, umbrellas, and overcoats.’”

“Nobody ever takes my suggestions,” Dan said, mournful.

“That’s because you are secretly not cool,” Casey said.

“Boys,” Dana said, “On three.” She held up one finger, then two, and finally three - and then the whole room broke into song, wildly off-key:

“For he’s a jolly good fellow,  
for he’s a jolly good fellow,  
for he’s a jolly good fellow,  
that nobody can deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeny!”

People were laughing and cheering at the end, and Jeremy was somehow grinning and blushing at the same time. “Thank you,” he said. “This is ridiculous, but thank you.” Everything seemed iridescent and a bit unreal, like he was floating effortlessly in his own bubble of happiness. Natalie kissed him on the cheek, and he felt like he could rise up past the ceiling, and through the skyscraper, and into the sky beyond.

##### Fertility Rites, Dancing, and Baby Chicks

##### 

“Dan,” Dana said, pausing at the threshold of the darkened office, “why are you in here alone with all the blinds drawn?”

Dan raised his head from where it was cradled in his hands. His hair was sticking up all over the place. Privately, Dana thought it looked pretty cute.

“Do you know what day it is?”

Even for Dan, that was a weird question. “It’s May 1st.”

“No,” Dan said, “well, yes. But May 1st is the traditional date for the pagan celebration of Beltane.”

“Beltane?”

“Beltane. Fertility rites, dancing, and um, baby chicks.” He threw his hands up in the air. “New life! New hope! And I’m stuck here, completely unable to write this segment because of this.” He threw a crumbled ball of paper at her.

Dana caught and unrolled it. It was a list, in Casey’s awful handwriting. “110%, in the zone, feelin’ pretty good, settled down, this one was really special, one day at a time,” she read. “Dan, what is this?”

“Casey’s list of sports cliches,” Dan replied, “Ever since I read it, I can’t write anything but cliches.” He dropped his head down into his hands again.

Dana found herself stepping closer to Dan. She laid a hand on his ridiculous hair, and said softly, “oh, _Dan_.” Then she slapped him upside the head. “Get it together,” she said. “Rundown’s in thirty.”

##### Opening Ceremonies

##### 

Dana watched the set intently. It had been an especially hard day, with Isaac out of town, and the network acting even more obtuse than usual. Not to mention the sound guys' breakup or Natalie’s new obsession with Australian rugby. But these three sentences would make it all worth it:

"Good evening everybody, from New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus, we got the Knicks for you tonight, and the preparations for the Olympics are ramping up. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around."


End file.
